How to Relax Before Bed
Gentle ways to unwind in the hour before sleep: dimmer lights, a cooler room, a screen curfew, slow breathing, a body scan and a note for tomorrow's worries.
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Many of us treat bedtime like a switch. We work, scroll or tidy until the last minute, then lie down and expect sleep to arrive on cue. When it does not, frustration makes it even harder. A better approach is to think of the evening as a gentle slope rather than a cliff. The hour or so before bed is when you slowly lower the volume on the day.
Start with your surroundings
Your body takes cues from light and temperature. As evening goes on, dim the lights in the rooms you use. Lamps with warm bulbs are kinder than bright ceiling lights. Let the bedroom cool a little by opening a window for a few minutes or turning the heating down, and make the bed inviting: fresh sheets, a pillow you like, a blanket you can add or remove.
Clutter matters too. A chair piled with clothes or a desk covered in paperwork can quietly remind you of everything unfinished. Even a two-minute tidy can make the room feel more restful.
Set a gentle screen curfew
Phones, tablets and laptops are designed to keep us engaged. News, messages and endless feeds wake the mind up just when we want it to settle. Try putting screens away thirty to sixty minutes before bed. If that feels impossible, start with fifteen and build up. Charging your phone outside the bedroom removes the temptation for a final check, and an old-fashioned alarm clock can take over its morning job.
Unload tomorrow's worries
A common reason for lying awake is a mind still making lists. Keep a notebook by the bed, or better, on the kitchen table. Before you begin winding down, write down anything on your mind: tasks for tomorrow, a call to make, a worry you cannot solve tonight. You are not solving them, just parking them somewhere safe. Many people find their thoughts loosen once they are on paper.
A small wind-down routine
Routines work because they become signals. When you repeat the same few steps each night, your body starts to recognise them as the run-up to sleep. Yours might look something like this:
- Dim the lights and put screens away.
- Make a warm, caffeine-free drink, such as a mild herbal tea or warm milk.
- Wash your face and brush your teeth slowly, without rushing.
- Read a few pages of a paper book or listen to quiet music.
- Do a short breathing exercise or body scan once you are in bed.
A warm bath an hour or two before bed is another lovely option; our guide to taking a relaxing bath covers the details.
Breathing that slows you down
Slow, steady breathing is one of the simplest ways to ease tension. Lying on your back, rest one hand on your belly. Breathe in gently through your nose for a count of four, feeling your hand rise. Breathe out softly for a count of six or seven, letting your hand fall. Repeat for a few minutes. If counting feels like effort, simply make each out-breath a little longer than the in-breath. If you ever feel dizzy, return to normal breathing.
A short body scan
Once you are comfortable in bed, bring your attention to your feet. Notice any sensation there, then let them grow heavy. Move slowly up through your calves, knees, thighs, hips, belly, chest, hands, arms, shoulders, neck and face. Where you find tension, imagine breathing into that area and letting it soften on the out-breath. You may fall asleep before you reach your head, which is entirely the point. Our beginner's guide to meditation explains the basic skill behind this exercise.
What to keep for earlier in the day
| Habit | Why it can help to move it earlier |
|---|---|
| Coffee, strong tea, cola | Caffeine can linger for hours and keep some people alert |
| Hard exercise | A vigorous workout late at night can leave you buzzing |
| Large meals | A heavy dinner close to bedtime may feel uncomfortable lying down |
| Difficult conversations | Big decisions are easier with a rested mind |
If sleep still will not come
Lying in bed growing frustrated rarely helps. If you have been awake for what feels like a long time, get up, go somewhere dimly lit and do something quiet, like reading, until you feel sleepy again. Keep the lights low and avoid screens.
Understanding what happens once you do drift off can be reassuring too; our article on the stages of sleep explains how a night unfolds. And if poor sleep continues for several weeks, if you snore loudly or stop breathing in your sleep, or if tiredness affects your day, talk to a doctor. Persistent sleep problems deserve proper attention.
Be patient
A new evening routine can take a little while to feel natural. Keep it simple, keep it kind and keep it consistent. Over time, the small rituals of the evening become an invitation your body learns to accept.